Father Figure

There’s an old joke:

It’s not a dad bod — it’s a father figure.

It’s funny way to excuses a bit of chub. After all, you’re too busy raising kids to spend hours at the gym getting ripped. Sometimes it’s good to remember what really matters, your children are far more important than having six-pack abs.

But as I drift closer to “middle-aged” than “teenaged,” and as my kids grow, I keep wondering: What should I do with my body now?

For years, I’ve worked out just because “it’s good for me.” But without a clear goal, I never knew when I was “fit enough.” I’d love to say that mindset meant I just kept going and it turned me into a mountain of muscle. Alas, that's far from the truth. The reality is that without a target, it’s easy to plateau, my strength gains leveled off, and my willpower to push through the pain ran out.

Why push harder when there’s no finish line? When will I ever be strong enough?

A Reason

Before I can figure out when I’m strong enough, I have to know why I’m training at all. I can't plan a course if I don't know where I'm even going.

As a father, the answer feels obvious. I’m not trying to build muscle to impress strangers or pick up women. The only “chicks” I want to pick up are my own kids, and I mean to literally pick them up.

That’s when I stumbled across the subreddit r/DadReflexes, a collection of clips showing dads doing incredible things to protect their kids. One video stuck with me. It’s an old clip from America’s Funniest Home Videos: two kids are riding down a hill on a toy car when, out of nowhere, a dad sprints past them and snatches a third child out of harm’s way, a split seconds before the car would have hit the oblivious youngster.

It made me wonder: Could I sprint down a hill faster than a runaway toy car if it meant saving my child from injury?

From there, more questions flowed in:

• Could I carry any member of my household to the hospital if I had to?
• Can I get down on the floor to play, and get back up easily?
• Am I going to be the reason we stop having fun because I’m out of breath?
• Can I catch my child before they run into the street?
• Can I lift the sofa to find a lost toy?

Sometimes it’s serious, sometimes it’s playful. But the are guine feats I want to be capable of. Those are things a Father Figure should be able to do.

A Deeper Reason

However I wanted a motivation that wouldn't fade. It needed to be grounded in something eternal. Why protect my family? Why carry them, catch them, lift them, run for them? In the long run, why does it matter? So of course I turned to the Bible. The Bible is a complicated book, and the verses I hold to could be debated. But I don't think I am stretching these verses or taking them out of context.

So, enough with the preamble. Here’s what I’ve written for myself, my personal manifesto of sorts for having, and being, a true Father Figure:

The Father Figure Manifesto

Men,

God has called us to use our bodies for his glory, we are to be living sacrifices (Romans 12:1) holy and acceptable to God. Keeping your body health is an act of worship. Further, we are called to be fathers to our children (Proverbs 22:6), love and give of our selves for our wives (Ephesians 5:25). Your body must not fail you in your responsibility to your family.

Men ask yourself:

• Strength: Do you have the muscle you need?
• Dexterity: Can you control that muscle?
• Endurance: Can that muscle endure prolonged use?
• Agility: Can you bring that muscle from rest to action in an instant?
• Flexibility: Can that muscle reach where it's needed with out strain or pain?
• Resilience: Can you use that muscle until it's worn and then do it again the next day?

Expanding from Principle to Practical

With this as my basis I developed several questions to provide a deeper perspective:

Strength

• Can you lift the sofa to recover the lost toy?
• Can you lift any member of your family and carry them?
• Can you open the pickle jar?
• Can you sprint to your child before they run into the street?

Dexterity

• Can you throw to a child who can't yet catch?
• Can you balance as children tug you and climb on and off?
• Can you fix the tiny fiddly toy?

Endurance

• Can you carry your child the whole way home from the park?
• Can you carry your spouse or child back down the hiking trail if something happens?
• Can you play tag without stopping?

Agility

• Can you go from relaxed to engaged as fast as a child?
• Can you wake up and catch a child falling off the sofa?
• Can you switch from walking your child home to fight mode when a dog charges?

Flexibility

• Can you tumble with a child on the floor and get back up with ease?
• Can you bend over to pick up a child without pain?
• Can you reach into awkward spaces?

Resilience

• Can you tank from a bump, fail, or light strain and keep going?
• Can you endur an injury and recover from it quickly?
• Can you say your health won't end you? E.g. Heart attack?
• Can you sleep when you need to?

Conclusion

This isn’t perfect, but it’s useful. I’m sharing it not because it’s exactly what you should use, but because it’s what I use. Maybe it will spark some ideas for you, too. Godspeed, men.

And to any women reading this, you may not have been my target audience, but I hope you find inspiration here all the same.